Connecting to The Dark Self: My Positive Experience with Demonolatry

My Altar

 The last few weeks have been profoundly ritual-heavy for me. I spend a lot of time at my altar daily. Even with everything else on my plate, goals in family, business, health, and life in general, ritual remains my anchor. I remain deeply invested in my spiritual path, especially the entities and deities I work with regularly. Of all the spirits I hold close, my favorite has always been Asmoday, or Asmodeus.

Many people know Asmodeus as the demon of lust, but that’s such a limited and shallow understanding. He is far more than that. To me, he is the embodiment of strength, manifestation, and prosperity. He represents the powerful potential to overcome adversity, to rise when everything falls apart, and to achieve greatness even in the bleakest circumstances. Asmodeus has been known to help people rise from addiction, navigate grief, and face soul-shattering loss. And yes, I know in today’s overly sanitized, fluffified version of spiritualism, there’s judgment and fear surrounding the work many of us do with demons. But I don’t flinch. I enjoy working with many such beings, and Asmodeus is, without a doubt, my most cherished guide.

Back in February, life threw us a painful curveball. We had been renting a small home from a private landlord, who, frankly, was a nightmare to deal with. Still, we weren’t in a financial position to make sudden moves. Out of the blue, with less than 30 days' notice, he demanded the house back. Panic set in. I spent several days feeling completely overwhelmed, which is not unusual for me when crisis hits. But eventually, I turned my full attention to my altar.

There, I poured myself into ritual. I surrounded myself with the spirits and entities who have walked with me since childhood, especially the darker ones. It was in that space that I found the strength and clarity to move forward. In just two weeks, we went from having nowhere to go to securing a home that genuinely feels like an upgrade. It’s not huge. It’s a duplex. But it has both a front and backyard, perfect for planting my herbs and building a proper garden. It fits our little family perfectly. I give credit where it’s due: to Asmodeus and the other spirits who support me unconditionally. No, they didn’t drop cash into my hands. But everything that was falling apart suddenly began falling into place.

I somehow pulled together the impossible: deposits, security payments, utilities, internet. You name it. All during one of the worst economies we've seen. Yet, within weeks, we were safely moved into our new home. It’s not our forever place. We hope to buy in the next year or two. But it is a haven. A space of peace. And I know, without a doubt, that the darker side of my magickal practice made this possible.

There have been countless instances in recent months where things aligned perfectly, almost as if by divine orchestration. One of those things has been my daily commitment to honoring Asmodeus at my altar. This act of consistent devotion has served as a wellspring of stability and strength. For example, I found myself in a complex and unpleasant situation with my ex-husband. I was still driving a Jeep Wrangler that was technically in his name. Our divorce had been brutal. He was narcissistic and abusive, mentally, emotionally, and physically. He controlled everything, down to the finances and assets. Unbeknownst to me, he had slowly transferred everything we built together into his and his mother’s names.

Eventually, when I walked away for good, after catching him cheating and enduring more than enough abuse, I was left with nothing on paper. He kept the house, the vehicles, everything. And in true narcissistic fashion, he acted as if letting me “borrow” the 23-year-old Jeep was some grand favor.

Last month, that poor Jeep finally began to fall apart for real. We couldn’t afford to buy another vehicle, and we had no savings to dip into. But I turned once again to my altar. I prayed. I performed ritual. I focused my energy and will with unwavering clarity. And then? A friend, someone we had recently grown close to, offered us a vehicle. No down payment, affordable monthly payments, and a contract built on trust. I now drive a beautiful four-door pickup truck that is safe, reliable, and perfect for traveling with my children.

This was another moment where the universe said “yes” because I was aligned, because I was grounded in practice, because I asked with reverence. Just recently, we faced yet another financial crisis. This time, we didn’t have enough money for rent. I was stressed, no lie. I returned to my rituals, spoke with Asmodeus, and honored the spirits. And then, like clockwork, a letter arrived. We were granted $1,000, exactly what we needed for rent. To me, this is no coincidence. This is the work in motion. This is devotion being met with reward.

When you work with the darker self, with the dark aspects of magick and spirit, you must approach with deep respect. It’s not about demanding or taking. It’s about walking a razor-fine line with humility, gratitude, and unwavering acknowledgment of the powers you’re engaging. This is not something to be taken lightly or performed as spectacle. You ask with grace, and you give thanks constantly.

There’s a lot of fearmongering out there. You’ve heard it before. Work with demons and you'll “sell your soul.” Everything will come back to you threefold. It’s all nonsense, deeply rooted in Christian-era attempts to suppress older, richer, more complex belief systems. I’ve always walked the darker path, and it’s brought me nothing but strength, peace, and clarity. And when I'm not at peace, when my mind is troubled, I return again to the same darkness others fear, and I am uplifted.

One of the most important rituals I try to do daily, though I’ll admit I’m not perfect, is a simple yet sacred practice of honoring Asmodeus. I sit at my altar before my black scrying mirror. I add offerings to the bowls, light a candle, any color I feel drawn to that day, and burn incense, sometimes Damiana or Rue. Then I sit and focus, scrying if I feel led, or simply meditating in stillness.

I always begin with thanks. I declare my loyalty, my devotion. After that, I do whatever ritual feels necessary. I spend time connecting to the darker self. This often includes chanting what’s known in demonolatry as an enn. For Asmodeus, the enn is: Ayer Avage Aloren Asmodeus Aken.

There’s another enn I use to connect more deeply with my own darker self: Itzella Chakkara Meditu Vespu. I repeat it over and over, sometimes a hundred times or more, in front of the scrying mirror. It grounds me. It empowers me. And sometimes I sit in silence, just letting my thoughts flow. Even when I have no clear intention, my presence at the altar is a form of worship and gratitude.

I am living proof that embracing your darker self and working with what society deems “dangerous” or “taboo” is not only valid but deeply powerful. There's no such thing as black or white magick. There is only magick. I’ve written extensively on this, documented how so-called “black magick” was once ordinary practice before it was demonized by Christian influence. From hexes and curses to retaliatory spells, these were everyday tools, not tools of evil.

So maybe this blog is instructional, or maybe it’s just me pouring my soul out into the ether, hoping someone else finds a piece of themselves here. Either way, I want you to know: however you practice your magick, whether you keep it sweet and safe or dance boldly into the flames, your practice is valid. Your path is sacred. And when you walk it with fearless intent, that’s when transformation truly begins.

Because fearlessness, that’s the part most people miss.

Be Blessed, 

Dena